Today in our lovely world of Colorado, I sit in the local coffee cafe and enjoy the people watching it is an amazing mixture of young & old,the colorful local yolcals, business people, retirees, raft guides (River Rats the locals call them), a mother and son enjoying a Cinnamon roll, a father and older daughter reading the USA Today and have a long philosophical conversation. What a mixture of people...love my little piece of the world
As I sit here I am going through my life and writing in my journal(private) and then this "journal" I have had a chance to really look at people and how they treat their fellow "man". Overall everyone is friendly, we all have a couple things in common....COFFEE and keeping warm. At one time the place looked like the local HS computer lab....Yes me included. It is fun even with my headphones on I am not listening to anything, people still will talk and ask questions....biggest one here....Are you from here?? I smile and nod and then the conversations start. The one that really hit me today was this
Coffee-Friend "Not to be rude or anything is it hard living in this area being so obese and probably not able to enjoy the area?"
Me "None taken, and yes it is hard not being as active as I want to be here. Growing up here I wasn't this heavy, loved the area went hiking bike riding enjoyed the area. After the birth of my kids and the depression hit I didn't move."
Coffee-Friend " You can't be in a depression in this lovely area, how can you be so depressed, look at the views" as we look out the window we see rain/snow mix fall....LOL
Me"My depression is from the situation I was in when I moved back here, not because only of me gaining weight and living here.Gaining alot of weight has made it harder, but I am never admitting defeat. I have a plan and will be working on it"
Coffee-friend "OH I see so have you thought about doing the BIGGEST LOSER Show? They seemed to have a good plan. Are you working out now and eating better?.....(I started to giggle)....Something funny?"
Me "I just tried for hte 3rd or 4th time for the Biggest Loser, working on my weight at home and then see what happens when there is another casting chance, but I am NOT about to have my whole weight loss journey just on that show...I have a plan....No trainer can't afford a gym membership or trainer. I am doing on the what I learn from others, reading and learning all I can"
Coffee-Friend "Oh one of those health nutty fanatics haven't hit you up yet....well then here (they hand me their card) I can help, but not sure how to help you...."
Ok so that was this type of conversation I have had most this morning....There was more but after that comment I wasn't really truly sure how to answer or what was really said!!
After this Coffee-Friend left I sat back and giggled more and thought about what my life has turned out to be. REFLECTION TIME!!!
MY LIFE IS MESSED UP!!! No kidding.....Yes I have to say it! HAHAHAHAHA Whose life isn't messed up I look at what I am doing with my life and I know I could change alot but when I am not sure how, when, where and who to get help from it sit in my corner of my world and do nothing. My daughter made we wake up this morning too. She oh so sweetly came up to me and gave me a hug and said "Help me mommy, I don't want to be a heavy girl anymore, I don't want to be You" I know it was out of the mouth of my innocent girl, Boy it hit home. I think I was still dealing with that when the coffee-friend started talking. I am supposed to be the role model for my children. I can't seem to be that even though my kids tell me differently!! So this reflection day has also brought out what I need in my life....SUPPORT of my friends and family. FAMILY!! oh that is so another blog.
People say I am so outgoing and friendly and supportive, I am to others. Myself I don't give that same love. I am learning how very slowly but learning. I have listened to others, read other's blogs, researched so much in how to be happy now. LETTING GO OF THE PAST!!
My reflection of the day LET GO OF THE PAST, TO MOVE FORWARD IN LIFE! leaving it at that....Moving on Grasping the day!
Sitting in my own little corner of my world in my favorite Coffee Cafe, I have people watched and learned some people want to help but not what to say or do, I love watching Friends meeting up after days or even months talking about how to Let Go and move on in life ( Two amazing ladies next to me are talking about that) Talking care of self!! Yes have to take care of self....
Sorry this wasn't where this was supposed to go, but is anything you write what you really wanted to say in the beginning what you end up saying.....hahaha
Smile! Make others wonder what you are thinking!
LOVE TO YOU MY "FAMILY"
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